On this journey, you will find that everything that works for someone else, doesn't work for you. Thats what makes everyone's journey unique.
There aren't any rules for traveling this long, draining, difficult, long road. There's no do's and don'ts or a rule book. But one thing that you will come across is someone who means well, but doesn't know a thing about the road you're traveling and tries to offer you a fix it all solution. Its so easy to say what we would do in a situation, or say how we would feel but in reality, you never know how you would handle things until you actually go through them.
When dealing with loss, people tend to shy away from the topic of it. I get it, Its hard, its real, its raw and uncut. But, It's our reality. But what I won't allow is for another person telling me how to walk in my shoes, how to heal from my loss, and how fast I should let it go or how to move from this place of brokenness. You know why I won't allow that? Because this is simply MY journey! And unless you are standing in these shoes with me, you don't get to tell me where to go, and how to go from here.
Grief is like a on going roller coaster, one day you're up and the next you're down. One day you're happy, one day you're sad, one day you feel weak, and then next you feel strong. And guess what? That is okay! It is perfectly fine to just allow yourself to feel whatever it is you're feeling. Thats the beauty of this being YOUR journey. It is yours and only YOU can tell yourself how to go and when to go.
Never compare the road you're traveling to anyone else's. Because we never know what someone went through or had to go through to get to the place they're at in their journey. Never allow someone from the outside, looking in to tell you what you should and shouldn't do on this journey. NEVER allow someone to tell you to get over it, or move on, forget it happened, or any other ignorant thing you may have heard. Although they could seriously be trying to help, they don't understand they could be potentially hindering you. Hindering you from processing, healing and even getting to a place of being able to share your story.
This is your journey, your hurt, your pain, your loss. There aren't any rules for this path. We didn't choose this path, it chose us. I'm sure if we could change it, we would. If there is one thing I would encourage Parents of Loss to do, that is to travel your journey how you see fit to travel it. Grieve, process, heal, grow, and share with others. It is through the sharing of your story that may help someone else through there's.
YOUR story, YOUR healing, YOUR way, in YOUR time.